Thank you all for your comments.

I want to add that I'm thankful for the comments that have been left here in my journal.  Even if I haven't responded to everyone personally, I read every word and am reminded that I am connected to other people in this process.  50% of keeping this journal is for my own healing, to sort out all the emotions and thoughts, and also to make a record of certain memories that I never want to forget.  And the other 50% is with the hope that other people out there who are hurting will read it and maybe it will give them even a little bitty bit of hope to keep going because they know someone out there understands how they feel.  Though grief of this sort is not something anyone wishes to have in common with someone, it's also good when we do so we can share in it and lighten each other's burden with simply knowing someone else understands.