image from flickr by Talia Twilight
It's been sort of a terrible week so far. It seems like everything frustrating that can go wrong...has. I won't bore myself or any of you with the details, but last night at about 2am, I was submerged in a sobfest and finally realized I was just following my normal pattern of 1) turning into InstaBitch, where everyone and everything irritates me and I want to throw something at the wall, followed by 2) breaking down into heaving sobs, followed by 3) suddenly feeling a sense of relief. You'd think after 5 years I would have gotten used to this rather predictable routine, but for some reason I don't always recognize it at first...I'm already thinking about whatever birthday, holiday, or anniversary is in 2 weeks, but I think I'm going along handling it okay until it suddenly hits. I think it's just been a bad day because everything seems to be going wrong, and then I realize it goes a whole lot deeper. Once I cry and get it out, I won't say I'm magically fine, but the relief is immense. Sometimes the 2 weeks beforehand is worse than the actual day of.
I still can't believe it's almost been 5 years - not sure how to wrap my mind around that yet.
We DO have lots of good stuff going on right now too...which I will write about soon. But not tonight; it's time for pizza and hopefully veggin out a little.
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